She's bisexual and I lived with her for my final year at university. I haven't really had much time to see her but I thought we were definitely due some time together and after the dream I realised that this was probably what my subconscious needed.
We chilled, caught up (watched Bridesmaids) and by the evening we decided to go out on the Manchester gay scene. Not on the pull; just to go out. It had been so long since I did something other than work and break up with people that I was beginning to forget what having a fun was all about!
I hadn't been to Canal Street since the time I came out to Dave. So my memory of it had faded.
We approached from the train station and glanced across the bar fronts.
It was a Monday. Which essentially means the whole place was dead. It was like a bad western. We walked down the cobbled street and two businesses turned their music off and dimmed their lights.
Of course.
We went into one bar, "Boys" - the only person at the bar was an employee and the music had been cranked up to an unsociable level to make up for the fact that there was currently only one solitary customer in the whole venue, who incidentally was so wasted he'd taken up watching himself swaying to the music, alone, in front of a funhouse mirror embedded in the wall.
Leave.
Back out on the street I noticed two guys about turned on their heels in front of the entrance to "Boys" obviously taking our exit as a sign the venue was empty.
They mutter something about going back to where they already been and I chirped in
"Excuse me did you say you'd been somewhere busy?"
The two guys were called Damien and Michael. Damien told us about G-A-Y - that it was open and that he would show us where it was.
We of course ended up sticking with them all night. I was talking to Damien at the bar for a while about music. The type of music he likes and the genres that I listen to. He was interesting, and funny. The conversation, although a little loaded, was really entertaining and talking to someone new was so refreshing.
It was weird.
Somehow, despite telling myself I wouldn't, by the end of the night I ended up kissing him. A lot.
I'd forgotten how much I liked kissing.
Jake had always hated it. To be honest he'd never been very good at it and I think he knew and so he never wanted to kiss for a long time.
Damien was good at it!
As simple as it sounds it was exactly what I needed.
A kiss.
The next day we met up for a chill, but I wasn't really interested in pursuing a relationship and after talking to him I realised that aside from music we had very little in common anyway - So I think friendsville is the best residence for that 'relationship'.
He wasn't my vibe.
When I got back home though I started musing about the experience. After ending things with Jake, even though I was sure about my decision, I have to admit that I was filled with a feeling direction lacking.
I was sure I didn't want to be with Jake, but I had started to remember how long it had taken me to find him. How many mismatched, poorly executed, incredibly lame dates I had to slog my way through before eventually finding Jake, and that meeting wasn't even within my control!
I was worried.
What if Jake was as good as it gets?
I mean aside from the few really close friends that I have (Sam, Zion (used to be Andrea) and Emma) I feel like there are very few people that really 'get' me. This is entirely my own doing because I don't really let the wall down (as previously covered). But I don't want to go back to how things were before, I want more than random hook-ups and lustful kisses with people I hardly know for the sake of physical relief.
Even when I'd been with Jake 18 months I got shut out to the point of feeling like physical relief was all I could offer him. Intellectually we were from two different planets.
I was getting more and more worried that in terms of meeting ANY men who were like minded I was hoping to find a needle in a haystack.
And then, less than two weeks ago,
Along came Joel...
Sam In Real Life
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