The Dating Game

Who writes the dating rules?

Somebody must have sat down one day and decided the budget, outfit, duration, location, conversation and consideration period of the ideal rendezvous.

How else would we all seem to have a distinct definition of a 'perfect' first date?

Up until recently I had only dated girls, I considered myself pretty clear on their rules. In all honesty after a few dates with different women I became aware of just how laid back the whole experience can be. But it took a lot of practice! Naturally; having never dated a man before, I felt like all my experience didn't apply...

Deep. End.

SO when I first went on a date with a guy (remember 'Sean'? well by April he got tired of waiting and asked me out himself!) All I did was brick it.

It's a sensation I have learned to despise. Colossal uncertainty laced with abject fear of rejection. Wanting  to seem 'on form'. Hoping that I looked as good as possible.

Praying that he looked as good as I remembered.

I sat in the beer garden outside the bar he works in (he obviously wasn't working THAT day) waiting for him. I had arranged it for one o'clock. That way it was just an afternoon drink, nothing major, and if it wasn't going well I could bail with a reasonable excuse. I got there early (the rules surely state this is malpractice?!) and got myself a drink. 

After speaking to the barman, joking about a couple outside having a major argument and checking my phone more than ever before in my life it was ten past one.

He was late.

He hadn't text, but he was definitely just late.

He was coming.

He wasn't coming.

He better be fucking coming. 

I was cursing myself. For being so eager. For being so thick. While simultaneously mentally going through millions of scenarios that could have occurred to explain the outcome. Unfortunately the only one that would stick in my mind was that he had simply decided against it.

Half past one.

Fuck it.

I downed my drink and got ready to go and then; Sean, tired and panting, came walking through the archway into the garden.

"I'm so sorry!"

He had spent so long getting himself together he had lost track of time and had to rush into town, he had gotten half way to the bar before he realised he had left his phone at home.

He looked annoyed at himself. Everything about him was apologetic.

Weirdly, this is exactly what I wanted.

I had become so consumed by the rules. Worried that I would have to be so much better than I am or that he would be smarter than me or that I'd have nothing to say or that we'd have nothing in common or that I'd say something inappropriate - I had completely forgotten that the person I was meeting was also capable of error.

Seeing him, out of breath, blushing, wheezing out excuses and apologies, evidently scared that I was just going to leave - made me realise that we were actually both in the same boat.

Duh.

I had finally chilled out. Which was great!

Unfortunately Sean didn't. Which was bad.

Even by the evening, he hadn't fully defrosted...

He was, admittedly, a really friendly guy - but after ending our second date with a request to borrow money from me, his fate was pretty much sealed.

Rules are rules right?

Sam